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04 July 2014 @ 11:27 am
027. The starting point.  
What's this? I'm actually still going to push through with this? Well, it's still there, and I did pledge to see this (and a thousand other things) through the end, so why not finish it? And I've just come back from a conference on design and art (that's for another entry entirely; there's just too much about it I could say that warrants its own entity) and I've got much to say about art and writing in general.
It's always the tough part for me, starting things. Actually, that's not quite accurate; starting, continuing, and ending things are all equally challenging. But starting things are always tough. The beforehand planning, the initial idea, the mental picture, and the doubts that come with starting anything--that's the baggage I deal with when it comes to starting things.

Personally, I'm the type of person who wants to try everything. Whatever it is under the full spectrum of art and writing--and not just those two--as long as it's there to be attempted, then why not? I'd like to make sculptures, to publish my own anthology of stories, to own a 3D printer and do all sorts of insane stuff with it--in my mind there's a long checklist of stuff, and one or two things come up every now and then.

This is all good and fun, but once you do realize the span of what you're about to do, the implications of what you've planned out, and who you might possibly affect with the thing you'll do, it gets scary. Of course offending others is something you have to watch out for, and you don't want to alienate whatever possible audience you have (especially in this day and age, where your name/reputation's up for public scrutiny on a worldwide level, at best), but it's a question of how. How do you not end up looking like a prick in other people's eyes?

If you had to put it in simpler terms, there's a sense of people-pleasing that hampers whatever start you can manage. Especially now, when even one sentence of yours could mean ten different things to others. I guess you could say it's cowardice on my part; I'm just too afraid of other people's opinions. In which I should really develop a thicker skin, which is what was mentioned in the conference yesterday, word for word. You can't expect for everyone to like you.

That's where I hope to be someday. That maybe, yes, detractors exist and there is some truth to what they say, but that shouldn't stop you from pressing on. If that were true with me, I don't know where I could be right now. And I'd still like to try everything, that's for sure, but I'd like to be that person someday where it's just natural to me to have a thicker skin.

(this came off way too self-pitying I know)
moodswing is currently in...: blahblah
ear candy...: Zed and Two Naughts - The Mars Volta
Mistress Katkat_lair on July 4th, 2014 05:53 am (UTC)
Starting things is hard, although for me it's because I'm inherently lazy and tend to procrastinate. Doing things in small chunks and breaking big projects down to small parts works for me. And lists, lists are great. As long as they consists of those small things. So rather than write down 'become a successful sculptor' start with '30 min research about local sculpting classes' and 'get a book out of the library on the topic' :)
Julieragnarok_08 on July 5th, 2014 05:04 am (UTC)
Doing things in small increments helps me with huge projects.